Monday, October 25, 2010

he'll be big and strong





You know how some songs would play in a mini-movie in your head? Especially when you're plugged in securely to your mp3 player (with white-noise cancellation plus black, airtight and shit-ugly rubber bungs) and the song just fills your head.

And when you're half dead on your way to Bedok. At seven in the morning.

Someday he'll come along
The man I love
And he'll be big and strong
The man I love
And when he comes my way
I'll do my best to make him stay

He'll look at me and smile
I'll understand
And in a little while
He'll take my hand
And though it seems absurd
I know we both won't say a word

There's a possibility that it might evoke images of the wistful dame, but at that time, under those circumstances, what I saw:

makeshift storyboard

Someday he'll come along
The man I love
And he'll be big and strong
The man I love
(Muscular Man walking innocently along the street. Emphasis on his twitching biceps.)

And when he comes my way
I'll do my best to make him stay
(Psychotic Female puts a sack over him and kidnaps him. Muscular Man struggles but is knocked out by pungent smell of old potatoes.)

[Cut to an abandoned factory. Muscular Man is bound on a chair. Psychotic Female walks into the frame]

He'll look at me and smile
I'll understand
(Shit terrified eyes of Muscular Man. A bead of sweat rolls off his eyebrow. Psychotic Female smiles at him.)

And in a little while
He'll take my hand
(She saws off his arm and cuddles it. *omgwtfbbq*)
And though it seems absurd
I know we both won't say a word
(Muscular Man dies of overbleeding. Psychotic Female puts one finger to his lips and one to hers.)

[FADE OUT TO BLACK]

Very literal interpretation.
I'mnotapsycho!I'mmotapsycho!Really!

But it'd make a good creepy MV.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I am Mustang

and I am ALL COOL except that I'm squatting on the toilet bowl and some strange girl is trying to break down my cubicle door which doesn't have a lock and the door is all jelly-like and wobbles and I don't want to let her in.

The strange girl is tanned and has two braids. She slips a pile of newspapers through the wobbling door.
Danger. I snap my fingers and set the pile on fire. It withers up in a sprinkle (yes, sprinkle) of squealing ashes and green flames.
I've got fire.
(YAY. I GET TO PLAY WITH FIRE.)

(I spent the rest of the dream just setting random things on fire.)

lost arm

I was stuck on the bonnet of a red Honda and there was this huge snow leopard circling me. In a truly FML-fashion I happened to be late for a movie. A $10 weekend ticket, no less.
So I threw out slabs of penguin meat, which were ignored. Too much fur on penguins, he said. Give me your arm. Just your arm and you can go watch your movie.
(I need more hair on my arms.)
Okay lor, I thought. Since I won't need it later. Would it hurt?
He stares at me. Probably ten minutes or so. Don't worry, you'd still enjoy the movie.
Would it grow back?
Maybe.

So I gave up my right arm. The snow leopard rolled over like a kitten and gave the most disgustingly adorable kitty eyes look. It held out a paw and I shook it with my other arm.
Buh-bye.

I wriggled my right stump and willed a new arm to grow. It did but it came out muscular and hairy as hell.

Then I went off to watch a movie.